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July 31 Wow squared!I guess my visit to Carlos's house wasn't so good after all, since his dad didn't take it well when Carlos told him we're boyfriends (which he already knew, but I think he could still live in denial as long as his son didn't tell him personally). But Carlos took it rather well, so it was a good thing.
Fabien will not move in to my house, which is cool because I'll still have all that space for myself, but is not so cool because I will still have to pay for everything on my own...
Yesterday I finally told Carlos I love him. I've always had trouble saying the 'L' word, but this time it was easy. I felt no doubts whatsoever, and I am no longer afraid of loving someone. Thanks for making me feel this way, my love
 !César. July 24 Wow!This was a wondeful weekend!
I met my "in-laws", and it went so much better than anyone could ever have imagined.
Also, I found out that sleeping without sex can be cool, too (if there's plenty of it after waking up, that is).
There's the chance a teammate will move in to live with me. I'm used to living alone and having the house all to myself, but I sure could use the extra money, so whatever happens, I'm okay with it. Problem is, I am attracted to this guy (my boyfriend knows it, though). It'll be hard to see him at home every day
 ...César. May 23 Letter...I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. César. May 22 Mom's surgery...My mom's uterus will be ablated on july 4th.
Her papanicolau and biopsy tests came positive, but if the uterus is removed soon, there may not be further problems.
I will be home (my parents') a few days before then, but will not stay for the surgery.
César. |
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